The Ballad of the “Demon Pig”…

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Deep in the mountains, there is a little known shack known as the “Hoghunter Hilton”. Few people know about it, even fewer people have been there, but it is a luxurious stay compared to tent camping all week. A solid roof and walls, mean you can sleep in after hunting all night.

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If you hunt out of the shack, it is tradition to sign the wall and the dates go well back into the 90’s. Also inscribed on the wall is the following epic poem shared here for “Humpy” because his season always ends before he can hunt up there.

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Demon Pig

You’ve come to the mountain

To hunt the pig

But there’s one hunting you

And I’ll tell you he’s big

With six inch cutters

Sharp as a knife

If you let your guard down

He’ll take your life

Smart he is

From hunters past

A pure Russian

He’s the last

His mother slain

His sisters too

 Over the years

His anger grew

You’ll see his tracks

You’ll smell his smell

He’ll watch you patiently

This pig from Hell

Five hundred pounds

Of vengeful fight

He’s full of hate

He stalks the night

In search of a hunter

Whom he can slay

For the death of his family

You’re now his prey

The twig that went snap

The rock that was rolled

He’s hunting you down

He’s getting bold

You’re back in the shack

You’re “safe and sound”

But lock the door

He’s still around

So arm yourself hunter

With all you can borrow

He did’nt get you tonight

But there’s always tomorrow

For he’ll wait til you’re tired

No gun or no rounds

And strike from the shadows

You’ll fall to the ground

Like a ghost from the dark

In a blink of an eye

Severing the arteries

Inside your thigh

Smashing and ripping

Your guts he pulls out

He’s eating your liver

You start to shout

But no one can save you

From this devilish beast

Crunching your bones

He continues to feast

How could God make

A creature so mean

He didn’t, he’s been forged

By the Park Service Green

The slaughter of thousands

runs through his head

SCA’s, Rangers, and hunters

He all wants you dead

“Not scared” you say

Well don’t listen to me

Get yourself eaten

I could use the OT

Cause there will be a big search

For your remains

But all we will find

Will be bloody stains

But don’t worry young lad

For Bill will shed a tear

And the rest of us hunters

Well, we’ll split your gear

So take extra rounds

Your radio, your light

Don’t forget your prayers

And you may survive the night

“Humpy”

Feared by hogs, Mountain Dew, Honey Buns, Little Debbies, Lunchables, and Fruit of the Looms

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4 thoughts on “The Ballad of the “Demon Pig”…

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